And now is the time to decide, since my housemate has decided to move out.

Stay, or move on to a new place?

Shatter this comfort zone and meet have a new bunch of friends. But can i afford that? There are a lot of things going on...

All this petty petty little things, the butterfly effect, the fear.

Loneliness sings, weariness listens. Heartache beckons. Do you like the sound of that? I do.

Although i feel fine, nowdays there's cold in the sunshine.

When the wind comes, confronting me blow by blow, I wish I have the warmest of attitude to see me through.

I'm as cold as my surrounding lately.

Where have i been?

I don't know.

But I want to be a superhero

In the video store. I was browsing, deciding what to get for the weekend.

The girl at counter (GAC) was chatting to female friend (FM) about social ills in Melbourne that they have encountered.

Having decided on a few titles, I stood behind FM, facing GAC, waiting to confirm my rentals.

GAC looked at me.

GAC: FM, that’s Rachel’s boyfriend.

FM jolted, turned around, looked at me with bulging eyes, and turned back to GAC, throwing her a long hard look.

GAC, sensing the distress, looked at me, then asked carefully.

GAC: She is your girlfriend right?

I can only smile gingerly, a bit weary of the situation, and shook my head, telling the audience that its been two weeks since I can claim that.

FM: Yeah no wonder, I only saw her two days ago…

I made smiling gingerly and red-hot blushing face an art.

And GAC kept apologising to me, which is even more agonising.

She ended up giving me the wrong version of one of the titles, no doubt panic stricken.

As I slowly come to my senses, I realised that this is really a very funny episode. I laughed despite myself on my way out.

Two days ago FM saw her. I can’t get hold of her so I don’t know how she’s been. If she’s still hung up about the whole thing, at least this time its mutual, both sides agreeing that it won’t work, hence I’m sure she’ll be over it in no time. If she’s found someone new, I can only wish her all the best.

Like an ex seldom does, but they really ought to.

The key to live is to be comfortable with what you have and do not have.

I bitch about people and I’m comfortable with that. If you feel guilty about it, what’s the point? If you know its malicious, its not gonna feel comfortable. The fact that you are comfortable means its no big deal. Unless you are a psychopath. But that’s the rare exception.

I’m comfortable with my life as a PhD candidate. Simple living and all. I gain some, and I lose some. I am content that I have unrealised potential that I have not tapped, and I am comfortable with the fact that perhaps I never will. I tried, but it takes more than effort sometimes. I am happy with that. I dun burden myself with what if’s. It is a waste of time.

I’m comfortable with the fact that I have probably let go of one of the most important and wonderful thing in my life. I do regret it, but if you are comfortable with the regret, good riddance will shine through.